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Take part in our next subtitle contest (above). Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk before 9am, Monday 30 May

Here is the winning entry from the previous competition:


The dean regretted not having been clearer in his invitation to join the prayer cycle (Tim Goodbody)

Anglicans are well used to liturgical cycles, but never before have we seen them taken so literally:

“There is confusion after the parish bulletin invites everyone to mark the Easter cycle” (Philip Lickley); “St Lycra’s has taken a revolutionary approach to the usual service cycle” (Michael Foster); “Bernard confused the request with the diocesan cycle of prayer” (Geoffrey House); “A service was held to launch the new Anglican cycle of prayer” (David Bowers); “The Anglican cycle of prayer had been well and truly blessed” (Paulette Yallop).

The puns of cycling enthusiasts continue:

“I never get ‘tired’ of welcoming our cycling brothers and sisters into our church tower (Aaron Milne); Vicar uses bagpipes to wake up a weary congregation” (Nick Baker); “Dean launches his Pedaling for Pentecost mission campaign” (Ian Barge); “We are not pedallers of the word of God” (Martin Kettle); “Bespoke service offered great ‘wheelie’ possession” (Roger Stanley).

Bagpipes seem to be less popular among our readers:

“I’m so ‘tired’ of these bagpipes!” (Pauline Hardwick); “While the face masks were very visible, the earplugs were very discreet” (John Appleby); “The Scottish Church Spokespersons Conference was dominated by two old humming windmills” (John Page); “For the first time, the bagpipes sounded very good” (Sheena Batey); “Everyone agreed that it would have been better if the pipers also wore masks – preferably thick masks” (John Swanson); “The accompanying windbreakers created so much bluster and noise, that it was impossible for the Dean to properly engage in his cycling chapter” (Paul MacDermott).

A few other starters we enjoyed:

“Three twenty cyclists on bicycles, two bagpipe players, an orchard on the edge and a partridge in a pear tree” (Patrick Irwin); “He thought they said tour de force, not the Tour de France. . .” (Victoria Prince); “Cyclists celebrate their patron saint: Martin of Tours” (John Saxbee); “The Halfords store in Braehead was honored to host this Sunday’s service” (Fiona Drinkell); “It was a majestic start for the service, but there would be a sprint finish(Brian Stevenson); “As he walked, he wondered if he was touching on the ridiculous” (Chris Coupe); “I’ve always said it was a mistake to film remakes of Bike thieves and The young Victoria the same time” (Ray Morris); “A trick of faith – keep your balance, keep going and hope the priest remembered the card” (Marc Parry).

“You take the high road, and I’ll take the low road, and I’ll be at Walsingham before you” (Valerie Budd); “The bishop deemed it prudent not to wear his yellow jersey” (Peter Sebbage); “The Bike Choir sings the procession for the annual service of cyclists” (Lynda Sebbage); “Cyclists gather for their annual service” (Richard Strudwick); “I said I wanted everyone to try harder to regarding-bike” (Julian Ashton); “We knew the new vicar was Scottish and a cyclist, but the churchwardens had been surprised by his suggestions for his installation service” (Vicky Deasley); “Celebratory service as the Church of England ends its 500-year ban on Lycra” (Gerard Farrell); “I know we try to be eco-friendly, but couldn’t they have left their bikes outside?” (Steve Davies); “Cyclists who have survived serious accidents come together each year for a special helmet service of salvation” (Don Manley).

“The winner of the clergy cycle race proudly wore the coveted yellow screed” (Gordon James); “The transition area for the inaugural C of E triathlon was unlike anything competitors had ever seen before” (Che Seabourne); “I send you like cyclists among the trucks, to cycle the route that is offered to you, looking to Jesus at the pedals and the star that pulls from our race” (Paul Crabb); “The Dean considered the new recycling policy a great success” (William Clocksin); “When they said I would be part of the liturgical year church cycles, that’s not what I envisioned” (Kate Brumby Ellis); “Based on past experience, the Vicar had decided on a Grand Prix start for the communion wine” (Rob Falconer); “No electricity, please start pedaling…” (Brian Lickley).

As always, the winner receives a Fairtrade chocolate prize, courtesy of Divine Chocolate. divinechocolate.com

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